Deal with it!

Have you ever been the victim of injustice? Maybe someone gave you a negative and derogative comment or perhaps you were falsely accused of something? How did it make you feel and more importantly, how did you react? The answer, in my opinion, says much about your inner strength and your ability to cope with hardship. In the long run it tells you whether you lead a healthy and constructive life or not.

Working as a teacher I’ve noticed a remarkable and terrifying trend. Many kids don’t take responsibility for their words or their actions. They talk and act offensively and then they justify their actions by accusing someone else for having provoked it. “She called me a bad word. Naturally, it was my right to retaliate.” Unfortunately, I can see the same trend among some parents. They have such a weird view on justice in that they feel completely entitled to put others down if they or their kid have been hurt. It’s almost as if they believe it’s their constitutional right. What about realizing you’re the only one you can change? What about taking responsibility for your own behavior? What about trying to be a good role model? What about the respect for others, dignity or self-respect? No, it’s all about defending their own right to take revenge on people that supposedly deserve it. Others should be punished first and then they might consider forgiveness.

This makes me so tired, because I see it every day. What makes me even more exhausted is that it's MY responsibility as a class teacher to set things straight when the kids are being mean to each other. And how am I supposed to do that when some of the parents defend their kids, saying that it’s ok to talk offensively and that they have a right to retaliate when provoked?

Some might say that it’s easy to preach mildness and responsibility when you’ve never been the victim of injustice. Well, I have a friend who was in a destructive relationship for years. Every single day she was subjected to hurtful words and deprecating language. Despite this she was fully determined to maintain her dignity. Not once did she strike back or stoop down to his level. It wasn’t always easy, but it was definitely worth it. Now she’s moved on. She doesn’t dwell on those hard words. She’s happy, not bitter. She doesn’t see herself as a victim, she sees herself as victorious. She has maintained her dignity. This is just one of countless experiences proving that it is possible to endure trials without resorting to equally contemptious conduct. 

Yes, this world is highly imperfect and yes, we are subjected to many types of injustice every day. So what? Deal with it! I don’t say that we have to put up with everything. But in realizing that you’re the only one you can change, you will be much happier, much healthier and far more constructive if you try to maintain your dignity and take the responsibility for your words and actions instead of defending your right to retaliate - which isn't even a right, it's an insult to you and the one you take revenge on - and constantly putting the blame on others.

Sadly, I still have to deal with uncooperative kids and their parents, "not open to any agreement." But hopefully not for that much longer…