Soul-searching

I joined the tricolor of life

This is the intriguing quote I had on my mind when I woke up yesterday morning. I don't know where it comes from and I certainly don't know what it means, but there's a handful of plausible interpretations. First of all, I was going to a meeting in French later that day, so maybe the tricolor was a hint to the colors of the French flag. I've been wanting to join a French congregation, so that might be why this particular word popped up in my brain. What's more interesting though, is what the tricolor itself denotes. Obviously it's the three colors blue, white and red. But what do they mean? In my world these colors are not political, quite the contrary. They depict something deeply unique about an individual, since the colors can be interpreted in so many ways.

My spontaneous explanation would be that blue represents the ocean; vast, dangerous and fascinating. Also, it's my absolute favorite color of all times. I feel myself inexplicably drawn to the ocean. When I moved to Gothenburg five years ago, I was perplexed that I had managed to lived such a long portion of my life so far from the ocean. How had I survived? Just knowing that the ocean is close comforts and soothes me. Additionally, I have had to cross the ocean several times in order to get where I want. Traveling into the unknown. So many things are hidden in the ocean, just waiting to be discovered.

White. The first thing that comes to mind is a blank piece of paper. Unwritten history. Appropriately this connects with the unknown things in the blue ocean. White is also the color on which all of the other colors can project themselves. Possibilities. Moreover, it's where all of the other colors disappear into. And though life is not perfect, it's invigorating to think of white as a pure and fresh color.

Finally, we have red. The color of my soul. Although blue is my favorite color - and my outward appearance -  it is only the wishful cool complement to my inner nature: passionate and intense. Thus, red represents the emotions and feelings in my life. For good and for bad, these are the forces that motivate & inspire me and make things happen. It's extremely important to stay true to my feelings.

Writing this text somehow makes me feel like I've made my diary public. But there is so much more hidden underneath this iceberg. This is just an infinitely small part of me. So now it makes sense: I joined the tricolor of life. And I'm not backing out.



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